thirty years old
Jesus started his ministry when he was 30 years old. This fact has radically shaken me to the core over the past two weeks, which seems strange because this seems like an obvious fact to us. However, the incredible wisdom hidden in this simple fact that is actively transforming the way I think about myself. I approach life differently now because of this simple fact. Let me tell you why.
The Holy Spirit asked me an incredible question a few weeks ago. He whispered to me as I was walking to class and He said, "Jess, think about every single time your head hits the pillow at night. As you reflect on your days, are you ever content with your actions throughout the day?" As soon as the Spirit gently asked me that question, I began to seriously reflect on this question. I was baffled. I quickly realized that I cannot remember one single day that I felt like I did enough for the Lord. I can't remember one day where I was satisfied with my actions. I can't remember one day that my head hit the pillow and I said to myself, "Man, I truly lived up to my potential today." Every single night that my head hits the pillow, I reflect on my day, and I think to myself, "I could have given more." I think, "If the Lord truly calls me to do EVERYTHING unto Him, then I didn't even come close to hitting my goal today. I fell short, yet again." Even further, there are so many times that I think to myself, "Today was a failure. I'm not where He asks me to be." I do believe that I have great intentions when I think these thoughts. I genuinely want to dedicate my whole life - all of my thoughts and actions - to the Lord. I want to do massive things for the Kingdom. I want God to use me to reach the nations. I want entire nations to come to know their Father, and I want Him to use me to make that happen. I want God to take me by the hand and guide me into a place where He can change the world through me. I understand that these dreams can't happen if I am sitting on my hands or I am distracted. I need to actually do things. So I reflect on my days in light of these dreams, and I think to myself, "Dangit Jess, you didn't do enough."
Last week, I told my mentor, John, about the question that Holy Spirit asked me, and that I had a realization that I am never content with how I live each day. John stopped me, and he immediately sympathized with my situation. He began to tell me a story of how when he was in his younger years, he had the same exact thought process that I have, and the Holy Spirit spoke these simple words to him: "Jesus began his ministry when He was 30 years old." John's response to the Spirit was initial confusion, but he knew that the Holy Spirit wanted him to think longer on what this simple fact entails.
As John was praying about what this meant, he received a vision of a 21st Century Christian being placed in Nazareth when Jesus was 23 years old. The Christian was in the carpentry shop where Jesus worked. Immediately, the modern-day Christian approached Jesus, and this conversation followed:
*let's name the Christian "Sam" for the sake of this dialogue*
Sam: "Aren't you Jesus?"
Jesus: "Yep"
Sam: "Uhh, haven't you been sent to be the Savior of the world?"
Jesus: "Yes I have."
Sam: "Well what are you doing here?"
Jesus: "I'm just working with wood."
Sam: "Interesting. Have you set anybody free from demons today?"
Jesus: "Nope."
Sam: "Have you healed any blind eyes today, Jesus?"
Jesus: "No I have not."
Sam: "Have you preached to any large crowds today, Jesus?"
Jesus: "Not today. I'm just here working in the shop."
Sam: "Weren't you sent to give your life for the redemption of the world?"
Jesus: "That's right."
Sam: "I don't understand. Can't you see the grueling suffering of humanity around you? How can you go to bed at night knowing that people all around you are dying and going to hell, yet here you are in this shop messing with furniture?"
Jesus: "I don't do anything of myself, Sam. Not one thing. Don't you know I must be about my Father's business?"
Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. - John 5:19
As my mentor, John, was sharing this dialogue with me, I broke down. In a single moment, I realized the answer that I have been looking for. Success in the Kingdom is not measured by the number of people you bring into the family of Christ, though evangelism is essential. Success in the Kingdom is not measured by the number of people I disciple weekly, though discipleship is essential. Success in the Kingdom is not measured by how little I sin each week, though walking in holiness is essential. Success in the Kingdom isn't even measured by the number of times I read my Bible, though the Word is transformative and nourishment to my spirit. This is the answer I have been looking for: success in the Kingdom is solely measured by obedience. The reason why Jesus waited 30 years to fully walk out his identity as the Messiah is because He understood that His primary identity: to walk on the Earth as a Son who was about His Father's business. The reason why Jesus walked by a crowd of disabled people to heal ONE blind, paralyzed man by the pool of Bethesda is because He was about His Father's business. Jesus could have easily healed each and every person in the crowd beside that pool, but the Father mysteriously and graciously only wanted to heal that one man. Jesus fully understood his goal: obedience. He knew the Father's timing. He understood the Father's heart. He was entirely filled and controlled by the Holy Spirit. The trinity always worked with perfect synergy wherever Jesus walked.
I want to be perfectly clear: I am not advocated for complacency in Christianity. I am simply advocating one thing. We are called to obey the voice of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is the most precious gift that we have been given as believers. We are so blessed to be able to walk with the helper, the comforter, and the true guide. We must live in a posture of surrender, and we must keep our ears open. The Spirit desperately desires to communicate with you, and to reveal to you where you are gifted so that you can edify the precious Bride of Christ. The Spirit wants to guide your path, just like he guided Jesus. The Spirit is strategic, unbelievably intelligent, and His primary motive is to love. Success is birthed only though surrender to the person of the Spirit.
Hope this blesses y'all. We have to see God in the right light. He wants to paint a picture of Himself on our hearts. Let's pay attention to what He's painting. Also - Romans 8 is fire. It never gets old. Read it if you have questions about life in the Holy Spirit.
